Ackery

Overly Ambitious Spring Break To-Do List

Or, how to set yourself up for failure without ever leaving your desk.

++  Purge/organize girls' room
++  Revise synopsis (Finished the first draft, so I ate all the brownies. Now I need a new incentive.)
++  Scrub floors & walls
++  Finish returning defective Xmas gifts.
++  Figure out mail-order pharmacy forms; reorder asthma meds; sell plasma to afford meds.
++  Install new shade in Josie's room
++  Photograph Ellie's alphabet project; recycle
++  Put away play food choking hazards
++  Disassemble cradle; store
++  Get handyman quotes
++  Test new felting projects for Discovery Day; order supplies
++  Scan paperwork; recycle
++  Swap out Josie's clothes for 6-12 month size
++  Burley & bike tuneup
++  Find a helmet for Josie's teeny-tiny nugget
++  Clean out girls' paperwork bins & bulletin boards
++  Finish kite project
++  Purge bedroom shelves
++  Finish Ellie's puppet theater
++  Plan garden; order seeds/transplants
++  Purge old videos/DVDs

The odds of my actually completing this list are so small as to be incalculable, but at least it will afford us all a nice hearty laugh on Sunday night.

The girls blew me away with their willingness to purge stuff today. Not only did they get rid of a quarter of every toy category we went through today (games, puzzles, Barbies, craft supplies, building toys) but they also chose at least another 25% of their stuff to put in storage until after we move. To give you an idea of what we're up against:

Twenty-one board games. This doesn't count card games or small games, like Ellie's current favorite.

They gave five to Goodwill, put another five in a giant plastic tote, then decided that the remaining ten games took up too much space in their closet, and put three more in storage. The games they chose are kind of baffling. They're keeping Taboo, which is too old for Ellie, and putting Tier Auf Tier away, even though they love it. It's difficult to keep out of the decision-making process, but they need to be content with their choices. Best for everyone if I just do the heavy lifting. Tomorrow, we'll rearrange the shelves in their closet and see where we're at; then tackle the books -- theirs AND mine. I anticipate many agonizing decisions, and not all of them made by the girls.

 Meanwhile, remember what I said about Tax Day? Clearly, someone wasn't listening, because we woke up to this on Sunday morning:

 

I am so rarely right about, well, anything, that I am a teensy bit gleeful.

WIP Friday: The 25% Project

I have this love-hate relationship with Real Simple magazine. I love the notion of simplifying my life, their recipes have never let me down, and the pictures are always so calm and pretty, but I also think that their approach to simplifying goes something like this: "Buy organizational crap to organize the crap you already have!" And, "Purge your wardrobe! Then buy really expensive classics! Then splurge on some trendy pieces!" And, "Go buy these seventeen absolutely essential skincare products!" Irksome though this is, does it stop me from buying their magazine? Not at all.

My wardrobe currently consists of:

• two pairs of jeans that are so big on me, I nearly mooned the gym teacher at "Take Your Parents To PE" day
• seven long-sleeved t-shirts (three black, one grey, two red, one pink)
• one pair of workout pants
• two pairs of pajama bottoms
• a polarfleece jacket with a broken zipper

If I purge any more, I will be arrested for indecent exposure.

My essential skincare products are these:

• Face wash of varying drugstore brands
• Neutrogena SPF 45 moisturizer
• Carmex

But they are right about one thing. Clutter is bad. We are fairly drowning in clutter here. Eight years of preschool and grade-school projects alone are about to bury me. So we are on a mission now to reduce the clutter. We need to purge extensively, because this is a teeny-tiny house, and we need it to look as large as possible so as to sucker some unsuspecting, dreamy-eyed young couple into thinking it's the perfect starter home, thereby enabling us to move to a bigger house. Which we will probably fill to the brim with papers and art projects and stuffed animals and knitting supplies.

Yes, I know it's a terrible housing market. I don't care.

Anyway, years ago, Real Simple published a tip they called "The 25% Rule." The idea was that one should get in the habit, whenever something was three-quarters used up -- a tank of gas, a gallon of milk, your supply of Charmin -- of refilling it. This would ensure that you would never run out at a crucial moment. A solid rule, actually. I cannot quibble with the notion of being prepared. 

But whereas their 25% rule is about adding stuff, MY 25% rule is the inverse: we need to reduce the amount of stuff in our house by a minimum of 25%. Books, projects, furniture, art supplies, kitchen gadgets, toys, toiletries (I may be devoted to Carmex, but 11 tubs is probably excessive.) Pretty much everything around here, except for people, could stand to be pared down by at least a third, but I find 25 a much easier percentage to eyeball when staring at a pile of stuffed animals than 33 and 1/3.

The girls, of course, are the ones least excited about this project, but I think in the end they'll be much happier. Less "stuff" means more room to play with the things they really love, a chance to rediscover old favorites, and a fresh start. I'm looking forward to it -- and with any luck, the only money I'll be spending on organizational supplies is the gas money I need to tote things down to Goodwill. That should make things really simple.

Verdure

 According to the calendar and the world's most enthusiastic weatherman, spring has officially arrived. That being said, the rule of thumb around here is not to get one's hopes up -- or the summer clothes out of storage -- until Tax Day, because to do otherwise is to ask the universe to openly mock you with a giant snowstorm.

Even so, Spring Break starts next week, which means that I can indulge my most sacred Spring Break tradition, dating back to...oh...I don't even know when. Junior or senior year of college, certainly. Every year, I reread Pride and Prejudice, then watch the BBC/Jennifer Ehle movie. Some years, I read critical essays about Austen as well, and I usually slip in another of Jane's books (Never Emma. LOATHE Emma.), but in essentials, my date with the Bennets is very much as it ever was.

The amazing thing about this novel is that even after a decade of rereading it on at least a yearly basis, it always feels fresh. Austen's observations ring absolutely true, more than two hundred years after P&P was written. My dear friend Marilyn and I have found that just about any situation or person can be summed up with an Austen quote, and we have whiled away many car rides doing exactly that. I can endure the more annoying people in my life with some degree of equanimity when I imagine which Austen characters they most resemble, and what Elizabeth Bennet would say about them. It is a toss-up as to which I enjoy more -- Austen's observations or her heroines, particularly Elizabeth.

Even the girls know it's coming. Isabelle has asked if she can watch the movie with me. She also wants to know if I'll be eating dark chocolate as I do so. The answer to both is yes, of course. I am telling myself that her interest has more to do with an appreciation for classic literature and quality cinamatography than a burning desire to get into my stash of good chocolate, but that stretches even my capacity for self-delusion.

It's tempting to crack open the book right now, but I am trying to hold firm. There are projects I NEED to finish this week, and chores, so that over Spring Break I can tackle a ridiculously long list of home improvements (more on that later). Jane and Lizzy will be my reward.

Sunshine on a Cloudy Day

We came out of a meeting with a group of people who seem determined to (1) screw over my children and (2) avoid any substantive discussion on the matter, into the pouring rain. And the umbrella was in the van. Now, I like rain more than your average bear, but clearly, we needed something to brighten our spirits, since nothing else today was going to do the trick.

Happily, we had just the thing at home.

Homemade Meyer Lemon Curd, straight from the jar.

We had bought the lemons last week, but the recipe I wanted to make required either a mandoline or "the knife skills of a sushi chef," neither of which I possess. What I DID possess were a dozen eggs that needed to be used up. Hence, frittata for dinner, and after the girls were in bed, a remarkably simple recipe for something the girls would eat in vast quantities, if they could get away with it. We'll use the whites from the eggs to make meringues later this week.

Step one: zest and juice the bejeezus out of some lemons.
 

Step 2: Mix up egg yolks, sugar, and lemony stuff in a double boiler. Whan it's thick, add an alarming amount of butter, one chunk at a time.

Step 3: Self-medicate. Repeat as necessary.

Hard Choices

I am planning out our menus for the week and I am plagued by the same question that comes up every time: what side veggie goes well with baked beans? Miss Eliza has already suggested broccoli, which is definitely in the running, but it's still up in the air. Suggestions?

Procrastination

I am trying to finish a project that is killing me dead. I don't even know why it's so hard. The book, she is written, and revised, and while there are more revisions to be done, certainly, I would happily sit down with a cup of tea and a brownie, perhaps, and revise until every red pen in the house ran dry. But summarizing said book is working me up into Quite A State, and the more I hammer away at it, the crazier it makes me. I am entering true wingnut territory. Witness:

I bribed myself last Monday -- I bought a container of Trader Joe's Petite Brownies with Sea Salt, and swore that I would not open it until my work was done.

Nearly a week later...

On the plus side, I am well-hydrated.

Tiny Happy Thoughts

So first, we had a bug that was not strep, but had all the symptoms of strep, and responded beautifully to strep antibiotics. Then we had nasty colds. Then we went to my mother-in-law's, gave her the cold, and then I got the cold so badly that I couldn't drive home. Then we had double ear infections. Now we (3/5ths of us, thus far) have the flu.
 
It is beginning to look a lot like Ruth's around here.

On the plus side, I can whole-heartedly recommend Kids 'N Pets for all of your carpet cleaning needs. Around here, it tends to sell out pretty quickly, so buy multiple bottles when you can. Or you can bulk-order it from Amazon. You will thank me, particularly at 2 AM.

Still, dwelling on the fact that one seems to be residing in a plague house tends to make one's days a little bit on the glum and self-pitying side. Instead, let us think happy thoughts.

More specifically, let us think tiny happy thoughts. I found this blog when I began following the delightful habit; Melissa was a guest-poster in February, and I quickly fell in love with both Melissa's crafting and her voice. While I rarely buy anything for myself these days, I couldn't resist a few pieces from her shop. Here's the first (I'll show you the rest another day):

Is it not a thing of beauty? It's even prettier in the light -- crewel wool embroidery on cotton, sturdy and soft at the same time, roomy enough that I can use it as a diaper bag, since my other one broke two months ago. I get a little thrill -- and endless compliments -- every time I use it.

And now I'm off to bring my poor husband more Pedialyte.